Who is an IDEAL Surrogate?

The Question I Get All the Time

Who is an ideal surrogate?
Who is the perfect woman to carry for another family?
Who do I look for when I’m matching surrogates?

I hear versions of this question constantly from intended parents, from curious friends, even from people wanting to help me spread the word.

For the longest time, I struggled with how to answer it. People often call surrogates “angels” or talk about how “amazing” we are for what we do. But I never felt like those labels fit me.

The Truth? I'm Pretty Typical

When I look at my life, I see what many families might call “normal.”
I have two teenage boys.
We have two cats.
A husband of nearly 20 years (which still blows my mind!).
We live in a three-bedroom home.
We go out to dinner more often than we should.
My kids bounce between indoor rock climbing, weightlifting, STEM programs, and robotics teams.
They take the bus to public school.

There is nothing magical or rare about my day-to-day life. I’m busy. I juggle things. I have overwhelming weeks just like anyone else. And I’ve never viewed myself as particularly special. I just follow what brings me joy and find ways to help others where I can.

So… Who Does Make a Good Surrogate?

After giving this question a lot of thought, I realized two things:

1. A Surrogate Can Be Any Typical Woman Who Truly Enjoys Pregnancy.

She doesn’t need to have had perfect pregnancies (mine certainly weren’t) but she loved the experience.

She connected with it. She thrived in it.

2. Maybe Surrogates Are a Little Special… but Not in the Way People Think.

Not “unicorn special.”
Not “impossible-to-find special.”
But the kind of special you find in everyday women who quietly give in big ways.

We are moms who still deal with school lunches, teenage moods, household chores, jobs, and the chaos of real life, all while having the unique ability and desire to help another family grow.

Surrogates Are Extraordinary… in an Ordinary Way

Surrogates are incredible women, but they are not so different from you or me.

They simply have a gift for giving, a love for pregnancy, and a heart that lights up at the idea of helping someone else build their family.

So who is the ideal surrogate?
A woman living a regular life, nurturing her own family, dreaming her own dreams… and still wanting to give back in her own beautiful, meaningful way.