Why an International Couple for Our Surrogacy Journey?
When I first felt the pull toward becoming a surrogate, I was bursting with excitement. The idea of helping another family grow lit something in me — but I knew I couldn’t take the first step alone. My husband had been my rock through the pregnancies and births of our two boys, and I needed him to be all in.
So, the moment he walked through the door that evening, I dove right in.
To my relief, he didn’t need much convincing. He was calm, open, and even a little excited. But there was one last question I had to ask — the one that would make or break it:
“Would you help me deliver someone else’s baby?”
I’d leaned on him through both of my previous deliveries. I couldn’t imagine giving birth without him — even if the baby wasn’t ours.
He said yes.
With that, I knew — we were ready.
Choosing the Right Family to Help
I contacted the same surrogacy agency my friend was using, and they walked me through the first big decision: What kind of family did we want to help?
This was something I hadn’t fully considered. There were so many factors:
Heterosexual or same-sex couple?
First-time parents or those hoping for a sibling?
Canadian or international?
One of the things the agency emphasized was that our experience mattered too. They wanted my journey to be just as fulfilling for me as it would be life-changing for the intended parents. That felt empowering — and a little daunting.
Considering Our Kids
At the time, our boys were 4 and 6. They had watched friends welcome baby siblings after a pregnancy, and I worried they’d be confused by my pregnancy without a baby coming home afterward.
So, after my husband’s support, our children’s emotional wellbeing became the top guiding factor.
We decided that choosing an international couple would be best. It would create a natural layer of distance between our family life and theirs — not because we expected anything to go wrong, but because we had never done anything like this before. It just felt safer that way.
Why We Chose a Same-Sex Couple
Once we settled on international, we found ourselves drawn toward helping a same-sex couple.
There wasn’t a long list of reasons — it just felt right. So many decisions throughout this process came down to that quiet inner knowing. Logic played a role, sure, but instinct played a bigger one.
The Profiles — And The One
The agency sent us several profiles. My husband and I sat side by side and opened the first one: a couple from Ireland.
Immediately, we felt connected to them.
But surely we shouldn’t just pick the first profile we saw... right?
So, we read the other four. Thoughtfully. Intentionally.
And then we went right back to the Irish couple.
They were our people.
“How Did You Choose?”
I get asked this a lot — How did you choose? Why them?
And the truth is simple:
You know when you know.
None of the profiles were better or worse than the others. Each represented people with big hearts and big hopes. But with the couple we chose, something clicked. It made sense in that unexplainable way that’s hard to describe but undeniable when you feel it.
Surrogacy is a journey built on love, generosity, and connection. If you tune into that, the right match doesn’t feel like a decision.
It feels like recognition.
If you’re a future surrogate wondering how you’ll know who to help — trust me. You’ll just know.
