What Happens If the Transfer Doesn’t Work?
This is a question I’m asked by both surrogates and intended parents quite often, and honestly, it’s completely normal for the first transfer not to take.
Intended parents usually ask it quietly, sometimes with fear behind the words:
If the first transfer doesn’t work, does that mean the journey is over?
Do we lose our surrogate? Do we have to start all over again?
Surrogates ask it from a very different place. They are excited, they are invested, and they are already imagining carrying a baby for their intended parents. They simply want to know what happens next if the first try isn’t successful - how quickly can they move into the next transfer?
For one of my own surrogacy journeys, the first transfer didn’t work and I was quite surprised. My previous two journeys had both worked on the first try, so this felt like brand new territory, not just for me, but for the intended parents too.
Suddenly, all the questions came rushing in:
What do we do next?
Are you ready to try again?
How long does the surrogate need?
What does the clinic recommend?
When a transfer doesn’t take, it’s perfectly normal for everyone to have questions. Support is always available through the clinic, the agency, and other professional counsellors if needed. In most cases, once the clinic confirms that the transfer was unsuccessful, the surrogate stops medications to allow her body to return to its natural cycle. When her next full-flow period begins, that’s often the starting point to prepare for the next transfer.
A follow up question from many intended parents, to ‘what if the transfer doesn’t work’ is often ‘will surrogates stick around for another transfer?’
The answer is always a resounding YES! When a woman decides to be a surrogate, she is committing to the journey with all its ups and downs, successes and challenges. All the surrogates that I have seen go through an unsuccessful transfer were extremely eager to start the cycle over again and get to the next transfer as soon as medically possible - they are in this journey to bring their intended parents a baby and are always ready to continue moving forward.
That being said, not every next step looks the same for every journey.
Some clinics recommend waiting a full cycle before moving into the next transfer to ensure everything is fully reset and there’s nothing unexpected happening medically. Sometimes medications need to be tweaked or the protocol adjusted, and maybe further testing is suggested to increase the chances that the next transfer is a success. In other situations, deeper conversations need to happen:
Maybe the intended parents only had one healthy embryo.
Maybe the disappointment feels heavier than expected and a pause is needed
Maybe fear, grief, or uncertainty needs space to be acknowledged and worked through before moving forward.
None of these paths are wrong.
Moving quickly isn’t better, waiting isn’t failure, and there is no timeline that everyone should follow. Each journey has its own pace, its own hurdles and its own process. The right pace is the one that ensures everyone, including the surrogate and intended parents, is emotionally, mentally, and medically aligned before the next attempt.
Being on the Same Page Matters
The goal after an unsuccessful transfer isn’t just another transfer, it’s making sure everyone feels supported, heard, and ready. It's setting the stage for a more successful outcome when the next transfer comes around. These conversations happen most often before the very first transfer, to make sure that everyone is on the same page. As humans, we want to be prepared, we want to know what happens if things don’t go the way we hoped, and we want to have a plan in place (sometimes two or three plans) so we know what to expect. In a surrogacy journey, it’s hard to predict every possible outcome and have a backup plan for every result, but we can do our best to plan for the obvious and start conversations for the potential.
As an agency, we’ve walked alongside surrogates and intended parents through unsuccessful transfers, successful ones, pauses, restarts, and everything in between. While we can’t guarantee outcomes, we can guarantee support.
Your questions will always be answered with honesty and transparency. You won’t be left guessing and feeling uncertain and you will never be left to navigate these situations on your own. We may not have every answer all at once, but we will help you understand the next step when it’s time to take it and guide you through the options available and what each means for your journey.
Surrogacy isn’t just about the destination, it’s about supporting and caring for the people along the way.
If you’re facing an unsuccessful transfer, or quietly wondering what if, please know this: it doesn’t mean the journey is over. It simply means that the journey is unfolding in the way it needs to. Sometimes detours can bring us blessings we could never predict or imagine. We are here to walk alongside you through the ups, downs and even the uneventful parts.
